The woman said she wanted to file a report on the matter

Unless you a comedian, this will possibly be the only time in your life when there is an intestine shrinking pressure to be laugh out loud amusing. The consequences of failing to make the assorted guests howl with laughter when everyone in the room knows that precisely what you trying to do, are unthinkable. If you wonder how comedians can stand the potential rejection of a silent auditorium, this is no different.

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